Thursday, November 23, 2006


This is a brilliant saying I adore a lot(I dont know whether my translation is precise. Hope it conveys)
"I am the Traveller, I am the way, And I myself am the Travel too."


Hail Kerala! And its enlightened citizens!!
In Thrissur, a group of members of the neighbourhood made a big scene against cremating the dead body of a person died of AIDS, says todays's newspaper. It was after a number of rejections from other cremation centres- including the one owned by the Corporation- that the body was finally brought to Laloor. It seems the so called fellow "nattukar" were furious about the prospects and allowed to cremate the body after heated arguments with the panchayat representatives under the condition such incidents should not be 'repeated'.
Worst of all, the person who came with the body had to observe "satyagraha" in front of the collectorate with the body on his lap before the problem was taken into notice, the paper says. Climax of the story: The police arrested this person for "NOT HONOURING" the dead body and released thereafter!!

I feel so proud of my people who stand first in education and health awareness in the whole of my country, and who practice the ART OF LIVING in so beautiful a way..KEEP IT UP!

Wednesday, November 08, 2006


its monsoon in chennai now. i cant help wondering how when and why does the sky pour itself out all of a sudden. very redudndant a thought, i know..but some things in life are so permanent, right? like..i dont know its a different set in the case of each human being!I dont know what i am writing..just felt like "utharaming"..may be thats why!!

two is good!

not bad. two people responded to my previous post..
so lemme add:
kabhi kabhi mere dil main..
kabhi alvida na kehna...
lag jaa gale ki phir yeh hasin raat ho na ho...
chupke se pal ki dhun..
jeena yahan, marna yahan...
yeh shaam masthani..
madhuban main radhika naachein re..
mere naina savan...phir bhi mera man pyasa..
suhani jaane tum kab aaogi..
din dhal jaaye hai!
tu nahin to...
musafir hoon yaaron...
o duniya ke rakhwale...
isharon isharon mein...
chaudvin ka chand ho...
aapke nazron ne samccha...

Thursday, November 02, 2006

tere hi sapne lekar hi soya,tere hi yaadon me jaaga...
dil ddhoondtha hai...
tumne mujh ko hasna sikhaya...
kabhi na kabhi,kahi na kahi...
tu nahin to zindagi main...
tum itna jo muskura rahi ho..kya gum hain jisko chupa rahe ho...
tere mere sapne ab ek rang hain...
mere samne wale khidki main...
meri mehboob tujhe...
tere nainon ke siva...
abhi khar na jaana...
aji roothkar ab...
maine poocha chand se...
hoton se choolon tum...
baatein bhool jaati hain, yaadein yaad aati hain.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

the first utharam!

In the heart of a seed,
Buried deep, so deep,
A dear little plant lay fast asleep.
"Awake," said the sunshine,
"And creep to the light."

"Awake," said the voice
Of the raindrop bright.
The little plant heard
And rose to see
What this beautiful outside world might be.


Wednesday, October 18, 2006

A Return

Like old train wagons
All used up
Never stale...

Like the Sun
Showering ecstacy

Certain victories
Like Karan Johar Movies
Longed for anxiously
Yet utter flop in actuality!!

Monday, October 09, 2006

can anybody find me the rest of it please..?

"in the heart of a seed
buried deep so deep
a dear little plant
lay fast asleep.
wake, said the sunshine
and creep to the light
wake, said the morning dew...."
what is the next line?

Thursday, September 14, 2006

"Mobile" Phone

The Train howled by
Like a huge cellular phone
Making its passengers
Like cell phones put in vibrator mode.

Friday, August 25, 2006

thousand cranes:An irony

THE title of the book caught my attention first; then the author. 'thousand cranes'brought back some memories-when as a child i read about 12-year old sadako sasaki, a nuclear-bomb victim in japan, and the thousand white paper cranes that she folded, believing they would fulfill her athletic dreams..and the anti-war memorial in her name that the children of japan dedicated to the world with the words,""This is our cry, This is our prayer, Peace in the world".And Yasunari Kawabata, whose work, "beauty and sadness" that had stirred a lot of emotions,unnamed and underdefined when i happened to read it three years back-not so vivid a memory, but..
UNDERDEFINED..yes that should be the word to describe thousand cranes in a word.set against the backdrop of tea ceremonies that is unique to japan, it tells about the intricacies of human mind so similar all through the world!"perhaps clear memories came easily in proportion as they were ugly," says kawabata-how true!
i could almost touch the subtle colours with which he has painted man-woman relationship-even when the overtones of such relationships are so depessingly hard to accept, i could not but appreciate the truthfulness of human feelings portrayed.{thousand cranes are the sign of optimism and perseverence and peace, such an ironical title for a "negative" work..}
i could make out the suppleness of traditions against cruel,unmindful urbaneness that japan is going through today:"he gazed at the morning glory for a time. in a gourd that had been handed down for three centuries, a flower that would fade in a morning.."
"he had not asked where she had been as if her dwelling were himself," kawabata nt it true?after all who are we, but the images we create in other people's minds?where do we live, if its not in the love, misery, hatred and memories of those around us?!

Friday, August 18, 2006


nandini had gifted me a spiral notebook for my bday in the 3rd year of wcc to write my poems in..and she wanted me to show it to her when it was full..i, as usual, dismissed it as something impossile and i actually told her what big deal, she cant read malayalam fact she even asked a couple of times what is happening to it..and i simply laughed it has the words, DREAM, do it, create, think etc.-on its cover.

AND i did mange to lose the notebook the very same day it was gifted-in the audi..i never got it bak,despite all our efforts..she never said a word of blame, but got me a new one the very next day.
may be she always wanted me to resume writing and be my real self again..but was i taking it for granted without ever realizing it to the fullest sense?

Friday, August 11, 2006

never ever give up


Friday, August 04, 2006

cycling into twenties

does the headline suggest any kind of a flashback, or looking back?but the twenties i am talking about is the age-thingie..##
i used to feel ashamed to say i dont know how to ride a bicycle..but what is the point. its just so. its one of the few things in our lives we cant lie or make up stories and pretend about!!
riding a bicycle is one of the most wonderful things mankind has managed to do, i feel. like going to the moon.

rolling lean, on a couple of air-filled egoes
elegantly flexible, wild like a bee-sting
balancing good, pulling away bad,
a bicycle goes, riding my youth!

Thursday, July 27, 2006

are sonagachis the solution?

its regarding the debate going on in mathrubhumi weekly: about sexuality, virginity, illicit relations so on and so forth.i read so many letters in the latest issue. not even one was written by a woman!
nyways, the following are a few facts some of them have pointed out:
1: women are not the only ones who are being ill-treated. men also undergo similar plight.its only that they dare not reveal such stuff since it would hurt their feelings!
2:sexuality is a biological urge, just like hunger or thirst.
3:cases of atrocities against women shall reduce if we set up govt.sponsored sonagachis all around kerala.

let me begin from the last: if sonagachis were a safety nozzle, not even a single case of rape or harrassment should occur, leave alone get reported from mumbai, kolkatha etc!and just who are these sex-workers? are they a race or a caste on its own?! and if at all it is legalized and given social acceptance, dear mr.reader, will u be prepared to send ur wife,sister or daughter for the profession? NEVER. so the bottomline is simple."let me have the pleasure at somebody else's cost. i dont care a damn if it means physical violence,emotional vulnerability, financial backwardness or mental torture for the person i involve with!"bravo!

secondly, if sexual urge is like any other need, just why are intercourses between certain relationships taboo? if humanbeings are the only "cultured" race we have got to show it off, NA?! are some of u guys trying to assert that u ppl are no different from animals? oh,please, they dont, afterall, go ahead and rape their females!

women, in most cases, are ill-treated and harrassed because of their gender.being woman is like a crime in our space and time. yes, men have at least a pride to be hurt while women are not allowed to feel DIGNIFIED at least!just see what is happeing to the culprits in our most celebrated sex racket cases.

if our so- called free men are so backward in their thoughts and feelings for their fellowomen, i can only wonder what centuries of conditioning should be doing to our women. i feel thats exactly why our undemocratic family system is still intact, dowry prevalent, "virginity" rampant and our well educated girls dont think twice before adorning themselves with tonnes of gold jewellery on the most important day of their lives..

i simply dont know when our people will understand what it means to be a man or a woman and be able to love,respect and hear out each other.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

why her?

why are we too busy to remember, call, email, visit each other?
tears are welling up inside, but not even one drop is coming off me. i am tired.

Monday, July 24, 2006

an odd day in chennai

Roads glistening with rain.
Men in raincoats on bikes.
Silent commuters raining thoughts.
Party flags, with theit red and black
And their leaders' faces sharpened.
Entangled letters more dravidian.
Teashops vending coffee the colour of mud.
Youth frantic over their wet cellular phones.
Flowery sarees drenched,lifted and stuck on calves.
Autowalahs reaping an unexpected rain harvest!

Sunday, July 23, 2006


i cant believe you would no longer scream into the telephone when i call , nandu...
i dont know what will happen to your contact lenses and those thick spectacles u wore while travelling.
i am no longer to get a happy bday call in the midnight of 22 jan..and i am not gonna call u 23 rd midnite.nor are we to compare and contrast our aquarian traits.
we are not going to lie down on the drawing room couch watching tv till late night and discussing guys.
we are not gonna put lots of tomato sauce with whatever we eat,while others cringe at the sight.
we are no longer gonna sing 'arth' songs, relive the day we watched devdas first day last show, reread memoirs of a geisha.
u r no longer gonna take me to the doctor for that cracking head ache.and u r not gonna make me laugh when i get my passport size snap taken. nor am i gonna get ur letters in that big, bubbly handwriting, so wild and beautiful.
we will no longer pick the same posters at exhibitions.
and, i dont even know whether u had found ur RAJ whom we were so eagerly waiting for.

your resh.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

i, me,myself

is that the only way to exist in our time and space??! i was thinking what has education given me, or brought me into..and i find it shapes your personality, ur individuality..alright. but it doesnt encourage u to be shapes one into an already moulded cast and shuts all possible outlets of originality or creativity! yes, it does TEACH u that u r all alone in this whole wild world, and left to fend for urself..if u win the battle alone, aloof and ALIVE, all the more better-u will be celebrated as the best possible example for the coming generations!


what a reliefe! at i am.
so.. that means i too got affected by the mumbai blasts. ( the word might offend central telecom dept.,no probs; cant be bothered about silly things..) and like my fellow mumbaikars, refused to surrender.kept writing new posts, although i cudnt see them published!!good job raaasmi!!kollam!

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

i cant see my diary!

sos..i am simply not able to access my new born blog!! i can create and edit posts, alright, but i cant see them published on the page.. i am in deep this the beginnining of the end?

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

ksfdc LTD

just a piece of bizzare "logic"..

the Kerala State Film Development Corporation LIMITED is India's first
film development corporation successfully fostering creative partnerships for more than two decades.(quote from their website)

i believe films are the utmost source and end of creativity, with no confines whatsoever! then why should an establishment or institute or corporation for its meaningful growth be LIMITED??!!!!! (i know its a bit too much ; ))

why should women not enter sabarimala?!

i am not a religious person. i was not brought up under the wings of any particular faith or belief. and i admit, i fail to understand the dimensions, the possibilities, the abyss, so to say, of BHAKTHI. as far as the recent controversy on sabarimala is concerned, and for the question should women be allowed to enter sabarimala, my natural answer, as a woman, is obviously a yes. but delving more into it, if all this is a matter of belief, i reconsider my answer under two aspects: 1:why should women care to worship a god who doesnt like even their presence??!! 2:and just WHO are to decide and ALLOW anybody to do anything?? since i believe BHAKTHI is an extremely personal feeling, it should not be guided or manipulated by anybody, right? if a woman, or a group of women, feel they cant survive without visiting sabarimala, i believe they should simply do it, come what may. that props up the first aspect: why care for somebody who doesnt like them?! may be in spite of this, if the women devotees feel for him so much, they should just go ahead. as far as i know, BHAKTHI is like LOVE. it can face any setbacks, anything that comes its way...meerabai's life is an excellent example.
entry into sabarimala, or any similar concern, should not be "executed" by law, by government, or by any authority. if its the truth of the mind, the heart, the soul, then no higher-ups are to be bothered about. if one is clear about it, he/she has no other go but do it.
if i understand the nuances of BHAKTHI, i feel its like the story of melpathur narayana bhattathiri, the author of NARAYANEEYAM. its a comprehensive study on bhagavatha, the life story of mahavishnu. he is said to have written the whole work at the guruvayur sri krishna temple, in order to find a permanent cure for his arthritis. he is said to have been cured once he finished writing it. i feel thats what is called BHAKTHI, an extreme state of belief and self-devotion that is true to the core. like LOVE! and that it is not something to be induced or forced upon or, most importantly, ALLOWED TO BE PRACTISED by outsiders- be it our fellowmen, the govt, or even SAKSHAL SREE AYYAPPAN!

Friday, July 14, 2006

Thursday, July 13, 2006

a strand of hair

i wanted to write this yesterday itself..
whenever i fall into the bliss of oblivion, a hair strand slips slowly onto the face to wake me up. i feel irritated at times, but at other times, when oblivion is no longer a bliss, but escapism and depression, my hair strand tickles me into reality..and i love its feel, its pitch blackness, its coarseness, its snakeness!!

Tuesday, July 11, 2006


"we desire to understand the world by giving names to the things we see but these things are only the effects of something subtle
when we see beyond the desire to use names
we can sense the nameless cause of these effects"--lao tsu
bomb blasts in bombay. watching a really bad movie at the same time in chennai..i am not trying to deraw a parallel between the two. but i can say only about what I experienced,at a given point of time, right? i dont know if i am sounding bizzare, but i cant help thinking why are things the way they are..if, as the tao goes, we overcome the desire to name the effect, will the cause become clear to us? or why do we demand for vivid reasons at all?!that age-old question pops up again..why i was born??!!
i read about sex trafficking,about russian gals selling their flesh for studies, 9 year olds in delhi showing off their budding breasts and inviting "clients" for some money to eat...and here we talk about the desires of flesh, the unreal concepts of virginity...the politics of a kiss!!i am not happy with our world that counts only straight smiles, fair skin, big money and correct fitting jeans as VIRTUE. why cant we, including myself, stand a moment of anger, of folly, of ignorance, of clumsiness, from others??why do we see only the fast, the smart and the successful? why DO NOT WE STOP AND THINK A BOMB COULD BLAST ANYTIME WITHIN OR WITHOUT??!!!(afterall, most of us eat fast food that is carcinogenic)

a hug

i feel like hugging u
inhaling the smell that only u have
touching ur skin that sends a thousand vibrations into mine
crushing this moment, this space, this time, this universe


watched the movie with three guys..although slept a bit, it was lots of fun, watching along with friends making funny comments.and i had the pine branch that i picked from ooty, and smelling it as i watched the mountanoeus movie gave it a threedimensional effect!!

Monday, July 10, 2006

snapping back shahabas

Kathiravan is leaving. he used to be our security-in-charge. we people, sitting inside our small rectangular worlds, never ever give him a second thought.a smile, a hi, a bye, a did-u-eat query..thats it.
coming to think about it, i believe he certainly has had a role to perform in our official lives. yes, he was our SECURITY!!but for me, he is more than that. officially and personally, i cherish him...AS MY FIRST BYLINE.
kathiravan's is a tale of three names(and thats how my headline goes..)his original name is shahabas, yes,a muslim.he had dreams of the tinsel world when he came to this adobe of stars..he wanted to become a scriptwriter, and not without a reason or talent. he has already published at least 5 short stories in different tamil magazines. and he writes well in malayalam too. hailing from palakkad, his parents now live in coimbatore where he grew up listening to stories of rajnikant and the like..those who bagan small, and grew bigger than the kollywood.twice he came to chennai, only to be caught, robbed and cheated by a homo-sexual man and later an "agent"of kodambakkam, that part of the city where there used to be all the big studios of south india. he at last had to take up job as a security personnel, and all along he has had his 500- page script neatly bound and kept along with his baggage.
shahabas writes under the pen name kovai-bas and he had to work under a hindu name bcoz somebody procured him the documents of a man called kathiravan for him to get this job...this is the tale of three names and he is leaving. after having privileged me, only an intern then, by allowing me to write about his TRUE story, having made me read the manuscript of his first novel in malayalam when i joined here, having implored me to check out his favorite movies, having remarked that my movie review is not that good. he is hardly 20 years of age and has taught me what life is in his own special way. he is leaving bcoz he realized nothing is gonna work out by staying here for so he knows..that his innocent confidence will not do the trick.and i hate the world and those people in this world, for giving him sad revelations, inequitable realities, and wisdom to understand it all ,without the backup of money&power.
if the end matters, let it be with a positive note. i seriously wish to see the name KOVAI-BAS written prominently on the future movie posters....of super duper mega bumper hits...

Thursday, July 06, 2006


ok. since noone has written any comment on my poem, i myself will appreciate it!" too good"! what else?

Friday, June 30, 2006

hail argentine!

they say u got to stand with the bereaved, the here i am for u..dear argentine.
if u were a girl of my age, i would have cried silly on your shoulders..
if u were a guy, i would have taken your hand and held it firmy inside mine..
but u r a nation, a shapeless shape i see so often on the map..
and in your lakes,in your rivers ,i am shedding my stupid skin of bravery. hail argentine!!

Monday, June 26, 2006

if live and let live is to be the motto, how do we find when and how to LET go??!

Friday, June 23, 2006

finally i am letting myself into the blog-world.
to cut a long story short, this is a desperate attempt to find out what i WANT with life...